A poem..

In my tenth standard we had a poem by Ogden Nash, "This Is Going To Hurt Just A Little Bit".. A very interesting poem. As an excersise we were supposed to write a poem.. Here's what I wrote.. one of the very rare occassions when i managed to get a good.. :) ..

(Mrs Bakshi is the name of the principal of my school)

"Life's Like That.."

Date tenth, month July,
It was very hot, I'll not lie.
There was an announcement in assembly,
That Mrs Bakshi wanted to see me.
Shock for me 'n' others too,
Their stares, glares, 'hmmm's n 'hooo's.
'Forgive me or I shall die',
These were the words I must cry.
Knocking the door, "Ma'am you wanted to see me?",
(Please say no, your yes shall kill me).
'Yes, yes, come in my dear',
Was I still alive or dead with fear?
'You've topped in the board exams, congratulations for that.'
Instead of slap she gave me a pat.
Keep it up she quoted,
Up in seventh sky I floated.

..........

I know its simple n silly.. but i love it.. :)

Resonance.

This word has many meanings in english. I came across this word first time in my physics class. "The increase in amplitude of oscillation of an electric or mechanical system exposed to a periodic force whose frequency is equal or very close to the natural undamped frequency of the system" In short, when a body is vibrated at its natural frequency it does so with infinite amplitude. We had this experiment, a wire used to be tied on a hollow box, and a small piece of paper was kept on the wire. Using a tuning fork we used to make the wire vibrate. At a particular length of the wire, the frequency of the tuning fork and the natural frequency of the wire matched.. the wire used to vibrate so hard that the paper used to fall off the wire.

There are times when we surprise ourselves with our energy level. I think thats the time we 'resonate'. Its the time when what we think, what we want/desire, what we believe and what we do all have same frequency, when our thoughts and actions match. Its the time when our natural (undamped :) ) self is in sync with our external self.. Perhaps our soul is in sync with our body..

I know the idea is weird and geeky... and i don't know whether anyone will grasp it at all. But its something i have observed in me and my friends.

On Hope..

Paulo Coelho in his book "Like The Flowing River" on page 31 writes...

.... I cannot lose the one thing that keeps me alive: hope - that word treated with such irony by pseudo-intellectuals, who consider it synonym of 'deceit'. That word, so manipulated by governments, who make promises they know they will not keep, and thus inflict even more wounds on people's hearts. That word that so often rises with us in the morning, gets sorely wounded as the day progresses, dies at nightfall, and is reborn with the new day.

Yes, there is a saying that states that 'You cannot argue with force'; but there is another saying: 'Where there's life, there's hope.' And I hang on to that saying....

Shaken..

On the night of Decmeber 23th, 2006 at around 4am there was an earthquake (3.5 on Richter's Scale) in Jaipur. I was fast asleep and this tremor woke me up. I think there were two of them. One that woke me up, and another that I actually felt. I had never had such an experience before. While the earth shook.. the first thought that came to me was that of my geography class.. I remembered something about some plates rubbing each other.. The tremor was short, and everything was silent after it. It was the natural silence of the night, but somehow it became noticeable. Then the phones of the intercom started ringing(my grandmother got really scared and woke up my parents and my mom's hospital staff who were unaware of the earthquake). I think those rings comforted me abit. I don't know whether I was scared or not. I was just reluctant to move my 2kg quilt and get out of my comfortable warm bed. I decided I'll do something if I experience another tremor. So I waited.

It was during this waiting time, I thought, about the earthquake in Bhuj, that too was early in the morning. There have been various other earthquakes around the world, but thats the one I remember. I remembered the kids who were in a small lane in a Republic day rally and buildings collapsed on them. I thought of those who died while they were in their warm comfortable beds. Then I imagined(thats one disadvantage of having somewhat good imagination.. u start imagining..).. i imagined what i will do if there is another tremor and a more severe one.. i couldn't decide what i shud do.. stand at the corner in my room.. or run outside n risk taking the steps.. i imagined that i wud stand outside on road n watch my house collapse.. i imagined that if we couldn't make it out.. we wud make it to the newspapers.. the family who was preparing for a party on 24th.. i tried to keep my thoughts positive.. but couldn't.. I became sad.. told God that i didn't want to die.. I wanted to live n not end my life so tragically n suddenly.. told Him that it won't be fair.. Then i don't know why and how.. maybe i was tired of waiting n maybe too sleepy.. I told God that it was ok if he killed me then, told Him that I ve had a wonderful life, and thats what is important. I told Him to take the decision fast.. n then i think i dozed off..

When i woke up in the morning.... the first thing i did was to thank God for letting me live another day... Consciously i do that quite a few times, it was first time i did it sub-consciously.. There was no mention of the earthquake in the newspapers.. I think 4am was a li'l late for printing it.. When i checked online i got to know that there were no casualties, but loads of scared people.. I was glad that I didn't make it to the newspaper.. We had thrown a party in the evening.. I don't really like gatherings.. But i was really glad meeting all my relatives... I was glad meeting anyone and everyone.

Its not that my life has changed dramatically after that.. I m the same person with same ambitions.. I just wanted to put down the strangest night of my life so far... The night when i was shaken both literally and emotionally.

Complicated..

Ever wondered how are we different from other animals?? Its coz we "wonder". Whoever made us gave us this constant urge to understand things. We want to understand everything.. We can't accept things as they are.. none of us.. irrespective of country, caste, sex, age.. I am not going to say its wrong or right.. its human nature.. we are meant to live with it.. But there are times i wonder(here i go again!!) that in order to understand things why do we simplify them?? Why can't we accept complicated things as they are.. and say.."This is how it is.. and i don't understand it.."

Agreed many of the scientific discoveries wouldn't ve happened if people didn't keep wondering.. But those discoveries were made only coz those people didn't simplify the problem and tackeled it as it is.. We have gained understanding of many mechanisms in nature.. for example we know its RBCs in our blood which have heamoglobin n we know wat chemicals are present which enable the RBCs to absorb oxygen from the lungs.. But do we know who told heamoglobin to go to RBCs.. or who told the diaphram to pull down so that lungs expand n we breath.. or who told iron its properties.. who told water to boil at 100deg celsius?? We can go to microscopic level or consider whole universe(perhaps all the universes).. there will always be a point where we would not have answers.. and at those times we don't say.. ok its complicated.. we say.. its all made by god.. 'It is made by God.' Ah!!! there u are.. We ve an 'answer'!!

There is one more thing thats very complicated.. and we always tend it simplify it.. and that's human emotions.. Since we can't logically understand most of the emotions.. we say its a matter of heart.. a perfect answer. But sometimes things get real complicated..(for example in the rare situation when two people in love have large age gap.. or same sex.. or even in case of extra marital affairs..).. these are the times when we get real confused.. so the best way out is to make such situations..umm.. infamous(i don't know if there's a better word).. Make such things a social disgrace.. illegal.. So we further reduce the chances of such an occurence n if at all we have to face it... we can call it wrong n get away with it.. But we'll never say.. "Its complicated.. beyond my understanding.."

Again i m not saying its right or wrong.. but its something we do.

(While i was writing this i kept writing.. i think.. in my personal opinion.. etc.. but i deleted such phrases coz its a my blog.. n every word that i write is my point of view only.. so no point in emphasizing on that..)

true.. truer.. truest.. :)

It was strange to read Nilesh's comment on my previous post(Bollywood movies).. he says he likes the idea of me having a blog.. to know me in my 'truest' sense.. It was strange coz he has been one of my best frenz in college for 4 yrs.. n if he thinks that he doesn't really know me... i doubt anyone else does..

But to think of it.. do people actually get to know the 'truest' you?? I don't know about others.. but in my case they'll never really know me.. I am not saying that i show-off to the world what i am not.. But there are times when i don't say or do what i think.. In fact many times i don't understand my thoughts, actions, behavior.. so how will someone else know me?? And that too in my truest self.. sorry Nilesh but that shall never happen..

There are these two lines of a song in movie Jism.. which come closest to the truest me..

Nahin kisi ke liye hai mumkin sab ke liye ek sa hona..
Thodasa dil mera bura hai, thoda bhala hai.. seene mein..